Welcome to Paradise
by Zesty Bod
Summary: Kai's presence forces Damon to re-examine his feelings about Bonnie. Spoilers for 6x03. One-shot.


**Guys, here's another one-shot in time with the show. I've been trying to get this posted since last Thursday, but my baby had other plans. Kids don't seem to understand the importance of Bamon. Ah, well. Thanks for all your reviews and love! I am also working on "The Other Side" and I hope to have that posted soon, too.**

I don't like him.

I don't like his stupid face. I don't like the fact that he tried to kill me. And I definitely don't like the way he's leering at Bonnie while she asks him how her magic will help us get out of here. He's got this dumb little smirk on his face and I swear devil horns are going to pop out of his head at any second.

"It's actually pretty simple, Bonnie," he says. "You'll need to gain your strength, practice your magic and then harness the energy of the solar eclipse to open a portal and send us all back home."

"And where exactly is home to you?" I ask, ready to stick this fucker with the fire poker at any moment.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he asks with a smile that makes me want to slap him.

"How do you know that I can do it?" Bonnie asks.

"A witch sent me here. A witch sent you here. It'll take a witch to send us back."

I glance at Bonnie from the corner of my eye and I can tell that she's contemplating. It's been a while since she had the weight of the world on her shoulders and I'd almost gotten used to the carefree, significantly less judgey version of her. She looks at me and offers a small smile.

"I'm tired. You got this?"

I nod and she leaves the two of us behind. As soon as she's out of earshot, Creepy Kai whistles and wiggles his eyebrows.

"143 days with her and you haven't hit that yet?" he asks. "Are you blind or just stupid?"

My hand itches to kill him with the poker, but I'm not sure how Bonnie would take that, so I fight the urge.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I have a girlfriend," I tell him.

"Ah, yes, Elena..." He drags her name out in a way that I don't like. "Elena Gilbert, the dull and danger-prone girlfriend. She sounds like a real winner."

Anger flares in my veins and I threaten him by touching his throat with the edge of the poker.

"Don't talk about things you don't know, kid," I advise.

"What I know is that Bonnie is hot as shit and she's been prancing around here in short shorts and no bra. Seriously, are you gay or something? She's totally into you."

I don't even know how to take that. I'm confused, mostly, because this guy has been watching us for months and somehow thinks he knows our dynamic. He doesn't. Even if he's heard us talk about our past, he doesn't know that Bonnie has gone from spitting on the ground I walk on to tolerating me, maybe even considering me as a friend. He doesn't know that she'll never like me in any way other than that, no matter what he thinks he sees.

Yes, I'm definitely confused but there is a small part of me that's also...curious? He's been dropping not-so-subtle hints about Bonnie and me since he revealed himself at the grocery store and I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask.

"Oh, come on, Damon," he laughs. "I know you've got your head pretty far up this Elena girl's ass but even you must see that you and Bonnie have something going on. You fight all the time..."

"Like siblings," I interrupt.

"If you're into incest, sure. You fight all the time like two people who are scared that if they stop fighting, they might start fucking. Every time you act like a douchebag, she still comes back to you and, uh, hello, but her powers came back after she thought you were in trouble. In witch-speak, that might as well be a marriage proposal."

My immediate reaction is to deny first, think later.

"We fight because we've always fought and that's just how we communicate. She comes back to me after I'm mean to her because up until now, we thought we were the only people here and she's not gonna just be in this weird place by herself. And her powers came back for that same reason. If I die, she's left alone with you and you're kind of a shady stalker so I can't really blame her."

Kai looks at me like I was speaking Chinese, then he shrugs and says, "okay, cool. That means she's available for me, then."

His statement causes an uncomfortable knot in the pit of my stomach that I am determined to ignore.

"Whatever, man. She's into some idiot named Jeremy but if you can get her to pry open those stingy little legs, more power to you."

He grins, then gestures to his hand restraints.

"You gonna let me out, or what?"

I debate on whether to release him or not. I don't trust him at all, but right now, he's the only glimmer of hope to return home. So despite my better judgment, I cut his hand ties off and watch warily as he rubs his wrists.

"I can just take a guest room, right?" he asks, but then prances off before I can answer.

I follow him, just to make sure he's not bugging Bonnie. When he walks into one of the empty guest rooms, I head straight to Bonnie's and knock a few times. She opens the door with one hand, while combing her hair in this weird beehive-looking thing with the other hand.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Wrapping my hair. Why, what's up?"

"Why would you want you hair to look like a cone?"

She snorts and then walks into the room, towards her bathroom. My eyes briefly wander down her back and get an eyeful of ass that is encased quite nicely in some shorts. Her smooth legs go on for days, even on her petite frame, and I suddenly I blame Kai for these thoughts. Of course, I had noticed Bonnie's body before. Even in Mystic Falls, I noticed that she was pretty and had a nice body. It was even harder to ignore these days with her barely-there clothes, and I am only a man, after all. Still, knowing that her goods were on display for a creep like Kai makes me mad for some reason.

"I don't want it to look like a cone," she explains. "I'm wrapping it so it'll fall into place when I comb it in the morning." She makes a show of wrapping a silky scarf around her head and then doing her arms out as if to say 'ta da.' "You've seriously never seen me do this in all the time we've been here?"

"Guess I didn't notice," I say.

But I'm noticing now, damn it.

"Anyway, what else did Kai say?" she asks.

"Nothing useful."

I sit on the edge of her bed and watch as she sits next to me and starts lotioning her legs. I recognize the scent immediately as lavender. It's the scent she wears at night because it helps her go to sleep. Why the hell do I know this?

"I think I should stay in here with you tonight," I say.

She frowns and spares me a short glance before returning to her legs. "Why?"

"Because. Kai's a weird pervert and he might try to kidnap you in the night or make you his sex slave."

She laughs this time. "Oh, and there's only room for one weird pervert in this house?"

"Pretty much."

"It's nice of you to worry about me, but he's been stalking us for four months. Don't you think he would have kidnapped me or made me his sex slave already?"

"I don't know what he would have done but I don't trust him and I'm not taking any chances."

Bonnie finishes her lotion massage and looks at me. She doesn't have to say anything for me to know that she wants to know why I suddenly care about her well-being.

"Look," I sigh, "you saved me today and I'm trying to return the favor. So let me not be a jackass to you for once and humor me. I'll keep my hands to myself."

Her green eyes scan me briefly, and then to my surprise, she nods without a fight. Easier than I expected. She pulls back the covers on the California-king bed and rests on her left side. She mutters a 'good night' and not five minutes later, she's knocked out. I quietly pull off my shoes, then my shirt. I hesitate for a second with my jeans. It's kind of gross to sleep in the jeans I've worn all day, but I weigh that versus Bonnie possibly kicking me in the nuts when she realizes I'm only in my boxers.

Pissing her off would be kind of fun, though.

The jeans come off, as well as my socks. I turn off the lights and slide in on the other side of the bed. There's so much space between us that we don't touch, but I can still feel her body heat. It permeates the sheets and spreads to me. I kind of like it. I fold my hands behind my head and listen as she whispers random things in her sleep, something about pancakes and football and nail polish. It doesn't make any sense - her sleep-talking never does - but it's comforting and eventually, I'm asleep.

When I wake up in the morning, Bonnie's already gone. Her silk scarf is on the counter and I can smell the heaviness of water and soap wafting from her recent shower. I'm thankful that she's gone because I'm sporting a boner the size of Texas. Not for her, of course. It's just something that happens, even to the undead like me. I would have hated to sit through one of her lectures about keeping my penis to myself.

I take my time in the shower and mosey to my own room sometime later. I let my hair air dry as I pull on some jeans and a white T-shirt. I whistle to myself when I enter the kitchen, and immediately I wonder what kind of pancakes I can annoy Bonnie with today. I decide to cut them into the shape of witch hats. The thought shouldn't make me as proud as it does.

I'm busy making my witch-cakes when I pick up on the sound of Bonnie's laughter, followed by Kai's irritating voice. A frown forms immediately and I abandon breakfast to find them. I follow the sound of their voices until I'm outside in the expansive backyard. Bonnie and Kai are sitting together on a blanket, holding hands and giggling.

What the fuck is happening and why does it make me so mad?

"Having fun?" I call.

Bonnie's head spins around and she smiles brightly, like Kai is her BFF.

"Hey, it's about time you woke up."

"Sleep well, Damon?" Kai asks, looking devious again. I want to slam his head into the ground.

"I slept fine. _Someone_ snores," I say. It's a lie but I like the way Bonnie blushes and Kai narrows his eyes.

_That's right, motherfucker. She slept with __**me**__ last night._

Again, no idea where that thought came from.

"What are you doing?" I ask, walking closer to them. I see Bonnie's grimoire laid out, as well as some unlit candles and Miss Cuddles.

"Channeling," Bonnie offers with a big smile. "Kai's helping me get control of my powers again."

"You're a witch?" I ask him.

"Warlock," he corrects. "And yes, I used to dabble."

"If you're a warlock, why the hell don't _you_ get us out of here?"

"Let's just say that I screwed over the wrong witch and she made my powers inaccessible to me. I can still share them with other witches, though. Right, Bon-Bon?"

She giggled and I swear I saw red. _Bon-Bon_? That's _my_ nickname for her! A nickname she claims to hate. Now this bastard says it and she's smiles? I really should kill him.

"Let's see some channeling, then," I say. I sit down on the blanket and fold my arms in a silent challenge.

"Bonnie?" Kai says, squeezing her hands.

She stifles her smiles and laughs to get serious. She closes her eyes and squeezes his hands in return and then she starts to chant in that low, sexy voice that she gets when she's all witchy. Truthfully, I always found her chanting extremely erotic. Bonnie's always so guarded, especially around me, and watching her do magic is like the one time I get to see her open and vulnerable.

The only problem is that Kai gets to see it, too, and he looks a whole lot less interested in her magic than he is in her chest. Why the hell she insists on wearing those thin T-shirts with no bra, I don't know. We'll have to talk about that.

I am happy, though, to see that the magic appears to be working. The wind begins to pick up, the trees shake and before any of us can get prepared, rain clouds burst open and it's pouring on us. Kai shouts like the rain is going to mess up his perm, but I just lean back and let it rain on me. Four months with nothing but sun can actually be a little depressing. It's nice to see and feel the rain again and I soak it all in until it slows down and then stops.

I wipe my face and then roll my head over to look at Bonnie, who is miraculously dry and smiling triumphantly.

"Well?" she asks me with a raised eyebrow.

"Not bad, little witch. Get us back home and I might even apologize for calling you useless."

She smirks and says, "I think you're burning your pancakes."

"Oh, shit!"

I scramble up and run inside to find my witch-cakes burned beyond recognition and damn near about to start a fire. I scrape them into the trash and settle for some cereal. Bonnie and Kai join a few minutes later and I watch, irritated, as they engage in what could only be described as flirty banter. I don't get it. Just last night, Bonnie and I were both talking about not trusting Kai and now she's all giggly high school girl over him. As soon as she gets up to clean out her bowl, Kai makes a gesture with his hands that is clearly supposed to be representative of him screwing Bonnie.

Not on my watch.

I spend the entire day, literally every second, cock-blocking like my name is Stefan Salvatore. I don't let them have a minute alone, which bothers Kai but goes completely unnoticed by Bonnie. When she day ends, I'm back in her room, watching her lotion her legs again.

"So how did all your _channeling_ go?" I ask.

Bonnie must catch on to my sarcasm because she smirks. "It was fine. Why do you ask like that?"

"Isn't Kai supposed to concentrate while you all channel? Like with his eyes closed and everything? Because all he did was stare at your tits the whole time, which, by the way, is remarkably easy to do given that you apparently don't believe in bras in anymore."

She stopped mid-rub and her eyes rolled to me.

"What are you trying to say, Damon?"

"I'm trying to say that we can see your nipples. And I'm also trying to say that Kai is only being so helpful because he wants to fuck you."

She blinks a few times, then goes back to rubbing her legs.

"And so what if he does?" she asks.

Of all the responses I expected, that isn't one of them. I am dumbfounded for a moment because the Bonnie I knew would have been all red-faced and embarrassed and flustered just from the idea of sex. But this girl next me is different.

"So what if he wants to fuck you, or so what if he actually does fuck you?" I ask, for clarification, of course.

"Either," she shrugs.

I'm speechless.

"Look, Damon," she sighs as she puts her lotion away, "I know you're trying to have my back and I really appreciate it. We have to look out for each other. But I'm not going to let Kai or anyone else take advantage of me like that. He's not exactly being subtle about his interest in me. If I do anything with him, it'll be because I want to and not because I'm gullible. I'm not a kid anymore, you know?"

Oh, I know. But I don't know how to respond to her statement. Her recognition that Kai is interested in her does nothing to quell my concern about the situation because she hasn't said that_ she's_ not interested in _him_. And that bugs me.

"So what does that mean, exactly?" I ask.

"I don't know," she shrugs. "It means that I'm aware of his intentions and you don't have to worry about me, okay?"

Again, that does nothing for the uncomfortable feeling in the center of my chest.

"You can't trust him," I say, almost as a last-ditch effort.

"Maybe not," she agrees. She turns off the lamp on her side of the bed and gets under the covers. "But he is helping me. I already feel stronger." She yawns. "You should be happy. I'll get you back to Elena soon."

Bonnie is asleep soon after and I'm sitting in the same spot at the edge of the bed, thinking about what Bonnie said. We'd probably be able to go back soon. I should be happier than I am. For the longest time, all I wanted was to escape and now Bonnie might be able to accomplish it and I'm feeling...unfulfilled. I can't explain it.

The next several days, Bonnie spends almost all of her time with Kai while they "channel" and talk and laugh. She looks happy and carefree and I can see her getting stronger by the day. I still don't trust Kai at all but she can look out for herself, I guess. I spend most of my days drinking, trying to dig out a book I haven't read fifty times already, and listening to sad shitty music. The only times I really see Bonnie anymore are at night and I would never admit it out loud, but I kind of miss her.

God, I'm pathetic.

I'm in bed before her one night and when she comes into her own room and sees me turned on my side, I think she's going to leave me alone. Instead, she makes space between my body and the edge of the bed and she pokes me.

"Hey," she says softly.

With my eyes closed, I say, "I'm sleeping."

I can hear her smile. "You've been kind of ghost the last few days."

"I've been around. You've just been to busy with your boyfriend."

"Jealous?" she teases.

"Nope. I'm glad he's taking you off my hands. Now I can drink in peace."

We're quiet for a while and when I open my eyes, she's staring at me.

"Go away," I say. "I'm sleepy."

"You want to channel with me?"

I frown. "No."

"Why not?"

"Last I checked, I'm not a witch or some dumbass warlock."

"You don't have to be. I can channel from another supernatural. Come on, it'll be fun."

"Doesn't sound fun," I grumble, even though I really want to do it just to rub it in Kai's face.

"Please?" she asks.

I know that she feels guilty about neglecting me, which she really shouldn't because we're not even friends. I guess we just fell into this routine of always being together and now that there's a third party, I'm the odd man out. I should be happy. I'm not.

"Fine," I say.

She smiles and then moves to the center of the bed and sits cross-legged. She offers me her hands, and I mirror her position. She takes my hands and then instructs me to close my eyes. I do, for a second, then I open them and stare at her while she starts to chant. I take the time to notice that she has really clear skin and nice full lips. Her neck leads to her chest, which is unfortunately obscured by a bra. She's never listened to me before. Why the hell would she listen to that idiotic piece of advice?

"Damon," she says, not opening her eyes. "Are you concentrating or staring at my chest?"

"The second one," I say.

She smirks and squeezes my hand a little painfully. "Pay attention."

I make a show of sighing, but then close my eyes and actually try to concentrate. It only takes a few seconds before I can feel energy flowing from my body to hers and it's not unpleasant at all. Visions fly through my mind and then I'm in my room, in the real Salvatore mansion, and Elena is on the bed, waiting for me. A smile comes to my face. The whole time we've been here, I've tried so hard to picture her face but as the months go by, it becomes harder and harder to remember her.

But there she is, looking real enough to touch. I pull her in for a kiss, but when I pull away, it's not Elena. It's Bonnie. And she smiles softly and runs her fingers through my hair.

"Damon," she whispers. "I want you."

I open my eyes and jerk away, and Bonnie looks startled when she stops her chant.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Did you do that?" I ask, somewhat accusingly.

She looks confused. "Did I do what?"

"You didn't see that?"

"See what?"

She looks truly confused so I knew she hadn't seen the vision. I shake my head and dig the heels of my hands into my eyes.

"Nothing. I'm just tired," I say. "Maybe we can try again later."

I leave her sitting in the middle of the bed while I return to my sleeping position and pretend to be asleep. She goes about her nightly ritual and after she's asleep, I turn to my back and stare into the darkness. I don't know what that vision meant or why I had it but I know that everything has been different since Kai arrived with his innuendo and his stupid face. Bonnie and I had a perfectly good thing going as reluctant friends. It was fine before.

And now it's not enough.

It's well into the morning before I fall asleep and when I wake up, it's halfway through the afternoon. After I stumble out of the bathroom, I go in search of Bonnie and Kai. I expect to find them in the backyard. What I don't expect is to find them kissing. But that's exactly what they're doing. They're on that same blanket, grimoire out and open and totally ignored, while Kai is holding Bonnie's face and laying one on her.

To say that I'm mad would be an understatement. I feel angry and betrayed, even though Bonnie hasn't betrayed me in any way. She told me that she would let Kai make the moves on her if she wanted him to, but I just never expected that she would want him to.

"Hate to interrupt," I say, not hating it at all.

Bonnie jumps away from him and looks at me with a sheepish expression.

"Damon," she says. "I didn't know you were up."

"Don't stop on my account," I say.

And with that, I turn on my heels and walk straight to the living room, where I crack open a fresh bottle of bourbon. I swig it straight from the bottle because I need to be drunk. I need to be drunk to accept that I have some kind of crush on Bonnie and she's outside, kissing the stalker boy. I shouldn't even want her and I definitely shouldn't care. But my dumb heart won't listen.

I sit at the piano and drink and ignore Bonnie when she comes in to talk to me about what happened. She's in my line of vision, talking, but I refuse to listen to her or even acknowledge her presence. I just keep playing louder and louder until she's drowned out and frustrated. Eventually, she leaves. And I'm alone, just like I should be and want to be.

I barely even realize that day has shifted to night and my angry, aggressive playing has turned into drunken, sad staccato little notes. It's in this moment that I regret my existence. I regret everything I've ever done, starting with being born. My father always told me that I was too sensitive and fell too hard and loved too much and I have done nothing but prove him right. I fell for Katherine like a moron. I chased after Elena like a puppy. I even kind of loved Rose for the two seconds that I knew her. Apparently, all I needed to like a girl was to be around her for any significant amount of time. That was just me: Damon the Lovesick Loser. I'd been holding out hope to get back to Elena and God knows she's probably riding Stefan's dick right now.

"Damon," Bonnie says in a rare moment of quiet.

I look up and see her standing in the entryway, looking guilty.

"What?" I say flatly.

"You're finishing ignoring me now?"

"Nope."

I start to play loudly again and she rolls her eyes. She comes to the piano and wedges herself between the seat and the keys. She sits her round bottom on my hand, which not only smashes my fingers but causes a very unpleasant sound.

"Hey," I say with a frown.

She leans down so that her eyes are in line with mine and says, "why are you mad at me?"

"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because you're sleeping with the enemy."

"I'm not sleeping with him, Drama Queen."

"You're kissing him."

"_Kissed_ him, once," she corrects. "And technically, he kissed me."

"You didn't seem to mind."

She shrugs and sighs and opens her mouth a few times but closes it. I slither my hand from underneath her butt and fold my arms across my chest, awaiting an explanation. She leans back more and causes more keys to play in an ugly little string of noise.

"I'm lonely, Damon," she breathes. I can tell she's embarrassed about the confession. "I haven't been hugged or touched or kissed in so long, I think I forgot what it felt like. When I was out there with Kai, he was saying all the right things and making me feel wanted, so yeah...I let him kiss me."

I look down, trying to process everything I heard but my drunk head is stuck on the part about her being lonely and wanting to be kissed and touched.

"You like him?" I ask.

"Not really," she admits. "But he was there and he did it and I didn't push him away."

I stand up and I think she thinks I'm about to leave because she holds her hand up to block my way. She goes into some speech about how kissing Kai doesn't mean she's going to abandon me, but I don't really listen to any of it. I just watch her lips move and I decided that if she wants to be kissed, I'm her man. So while she's still talking, I grab her face with both hands and I do it.

I kiss Bonnie.

And not a peck on the lips, either. I effectively shut her up when I kiss her hard, pressing our mouths together and then sucking her bottom lip and switching the top one soon after. She's kind of frozen there and although my eyes are closed, I know she's staring at me, trying to grasp the concept of us kissing. I try to help get her up to speed when I drop my hands to her thighs and part her legs so I can stand in between them. She gasps and in that moment, I seize the opportunity to insert my tongue into the situation. Not to brag but I've been told my tongue skills are amazing and apparently, my sources were correct.

As soon as my tongue is in her mouth, Bonnie starts to respond to me instead of sitting there like a bump on a log. I swirl my tongue around, forcing hers to come out and play, and when she actually starts kissing me back, I'm pretty sure I can feel the ground shake. We take turns caressing each other's mouths, sucking and nibbling lips and smooching softly when she needs to catch her breath. I caress her thighs while her hands stroke my hair and I'll be damned if this kiss isn't magical. Kind of corny, but it's true.

After several minutes of blissful making out, I pull away and bring one hand up to rub her cheek. She looks a little mind-blown and I want to congratulate myself.

"If you wanted to kiss somebody so bad, you should have just kissed me," I say.

Her eyes flutter open and she licks her lips.

"Uh...yeah," she said in a husky voice.

I smile.

"You don't have to feel lonely, Bonnie," I whisper. I'm in full-on seduction mode and I know I'm reeling her in. "We're here together for a reason. I can hug you and kiss you and do whatever you want me to. You just have to tell me."

She swallows and her nervousness is so cute. I would rock her world. No doubt.

"Um...okay," she stutters.

I run my thumb over her lips. "I'll sleep in my own room tonight. If you want me, just come by."

I leave her standing there, shaken up and pressed down on the piano, as I walk off with the world's biggest smirk. I get up to my room and strip down to underwear and wait. I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything, but she'll come. I know she will. She wants me just like I want her. We just never noticed it until Kai showed up. I guess I'm glad I didn't kill him. But if he touches my girl again, I'll rip his throat out.

I'm resting on the bed when there is tentative knock on my door. I grin and take my time going to it. When I open it, Bonnie is standing there, biting her lip. She looks nervous and unsure but underneath that, I see that she's hungry. For me. And I really want to feed her. I gently take her hand and pull her inside. I lock the door behind her and then say what's been on my mind for a while now.

"It's about time."


End file.
